Today

Damn.

So I haven't talked to you guys in ages.  I've been busy.  So, if you don't like it, you can kiss it.  I haven't been too militant lately with my Atheism.  I kind of miss it.  I've let a lot of stupid crap slip by and I've become more tolerant.  Not out of the sake of being tolerant, but out of lack of time to be more militant.  It's okay.  I'll get back to my offensive ways soon.

This is by no means an offensive blog to those of you who "believe".  As I have said in the past, my objective is not to offend, but rather educate.  With that being said, that's not what this blog is about.

So what is this blog post about? Who the hell knows.  I'm just typing and whatever comes out comes out.
So recently I have decided to try to look better for myself and for my wife.  My wife is putting me to shame.  Marathon runner, mother of two, full time student, and everything else you can think of.  She still finds time to work out and look hot as hell while my round ass continues to get rounder and rounder.

I kind of have been watching what I eat.  Except for tonight.  I had a damn bbq sandwich with sliced brisket, sliced sausage, and about 12 beers.  I'm going to pay dearly for that.  Oh well.  Fuck it.

So I still have no idea what this damn post is about, but I have an idea of where I want to go with who I am.  Stay tuned.  Yes, I will write for a few days and most likely abandon you again.  You will forget me and then hear from me again and think... Oh yeah, it's the fat ass who writes stupid shit.

So what is this blog post about? Who the hell knows, and who gives a damn because it's about over right now.  Listen to some Mr. Bungle and come tell me about it in the comments below.

So I lasted 5 days... boo

Yes, I only lasted 5 days of the 10 that I needed to complete my fast.  There were several factors that kept me from doing this.  One of the biggest was TIME.  It's my fault. I admit it. I'm not going to try and blame it on other things.  I will however, beginning this Sunday, start a juicing schedule that will go every week from Sunday through Thursday.  On Fridays and Saturdays, I will pig out like never before... just kidding.  Still going to try to eat healthy on those days.  I cannot guarantee it, but it's the damn weekend, get over it.
On another note, I will make another attempt in a few months after my body has settled down and I can have more discipline and time.  It took one night of cheating, and the lack of time to buy more veggies and fruit to get me to today, which would have been day 6.
Apparently, I did not prepare well enough for this journey and it had to end abruptly.  Don't be sad for me. I'm not.  Stay tuned for more posts!!!


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Day 5... Because I cheated

Well, here I sit.  Numb and depressed in this gray box I call my office.  I don't know if you took a look at my last post, bu I cheated last night.  I ate some jerk chicken.  Am I sorry I did it? Nahh. I felt guilty at first.  I felt like I ate a cinder block, and I still felt that up until this morning.  Right now though, I feel fine.  I haven't eaten anything today. I haven't even drank my juice.  I ran out of a lot of stuff and didn't get a chance to replenish it.
My wife goes to school and we don't get home till 8:00 pm.  By that time, I'm so exhausted that I can't bring myself to get to the store.
Soooo, I've been drinking water all day.  Very unhealthy. Very poor choice. It's not good to turn a juice fasting into a jerk chicken attack and then a water fast.  I would rather drink my water though, and keep cleansing myself and then tomorrow I can start in on my juice again.
Where's your high?! Is that you talking to me? or am I having auditory hallucinations? Maybe it was just my stapler, who knows. Anyway.  Sorry, don't have a juice high right now.  That came and went with the juice.  What a boring damn post!!! Someone comment on it and tell me how much it sucks!!



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I'm a cheater - Now I'm paying for it...

Good morning everyone. No, I'm no Arnold Schwarzenegger, so it was not my wife I cheated on.  
I cheated on my juicing fast.  My food cravings got the best of me.  It was around 8:00 PM last night, and I was out of fruit at home.  All I had left was kale, collard greens and a few carrots. Maybe an apple as well, but that was it.
My co-worker had asked me earlier in the day yesterday if I knew of any good Caribbean jerk chicken places.  
I LOVE JAMAICAN JERK CHICKEN. I FREAKING LOVE IT.   I have not had any of that in years because for some reason, Houston has a shortage of Jamaican restaurants. 
So I looked up this website, www.caibbeanjerkcuisine.com and that was the end of it all. I had baked jerk chicken, I did take off the skin, and I did not eat all my rice, and I did eat all my veggies.  Still, this is not an excuse.  
Today I am paying dearly for it.  I feel like I ate a cinder block and it's just sitting there in my stomach.  Was it worth it? Hellz yeah it was worth it.  
Am I going to continue with my juice fasting? Yes, unfortunately I will because I have to.  
Have you slipped? Just once? Don't worry, it happens all the time.  Recovering addicts go through it and some people don't see it, but food can also be an addiction.  I made it four days.  That is a lot longer than I thought I could make it.  Let's just see how much longer I can stand this.  I'll write more later.  Cya for now.








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Day 4 continued... Feeling Sluggish and Depressed!!!

Well, here we are it's a little after 1:00 PM and I just finished my lunch juice. blaaaahhh!!! Tastes like crap even more each day.  I am feeling down and depressed.  I feel weak, almost like I have a cold.  I am sitting here thinking... Is this normal? The answer is YES. Unfortunately it IS normal to feel like crap when going through a juice fasting.
I had to do some research and found this website http://healthrecipes.com/fast26.htm
That part where the link leads talks about how to come out of a juice fasting.  Ooops, I had not thought of that.  My first thought was to go to Taco Cabana and pounce on a plate of unsuspecting nachos as a reward for doing so well. Ehemmm... Not so fast says the digestive system.  Do that and you're going down like a pile of bricks.  I have to actually ease my body out of this!!! This is insane! Why am I doing this to myself? What in the world did I do so wrong to deserve this?!!?!! Oh, yeah... Years of mistreating my body, that's what I did.
So, the depression and weakness is just the body burning off toxins and using them as fuel. Yippy f*cking Yay.  Tha'ts the last thing I need, to be working off toxins.  I suppose I have to burn off all those McRibs, BK burgers, Taco Bell, and my beloved ... Bacon:( Oh how I love you my beautiful bacon with your crunchy meaty parts and how you make me happy like a crack head that just found a rock the size of a car.
Sorry, went off on one of my little food daydreams.  As I sit here my energy level is low.  I feel alert, yet tired.  I am awake, yet half asleep.  Is this what menopause feels like? I would never know. I'm a man, but if this is what it feels like, I'm going to start stocking up on bottles of wine for when my wife goes through it.
Well, I might write more this evening or I may not, depending on what happens.  I have nowhere to hang out this evening because of the rain, unless it stops.  Maybe I'll take D to the public library and show him what it was like to read back in the old days before computers, iPads and smartphones...


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Day 3 Continued... :(

So, it's the evening of the third day of my juice fasting.  I managed to get myself constipated because I was not thirsty and have not been drinking as much water as I should have.  Good going dufus!
I almost lost it a while ago.  Coming back from picking up my wife from school.  I had to talk myself  into not going to get some loaded nachos. Wow, my mouth just watered!!!
I'm too much of a bad mood to write much more right now.  I hope tomorrow morning is better than tonight has been.  The day started out great, but this is not my happy time... I drank only some fruit juice tonight.  That's it for today. Good night...

Day 3 of Juicing. What the hell is that I'm seeing through the wall?!

Good morning! It's Monday July 18, 2011. So it's day THREE of my juicing event or whatever you call it.  So far, this morning I woke up sleepy as hell, but within an hour or so I became more alert than I have been in years.  I feel as if I can see through the granite walls of the building where I work.  Also this morning, like a dog, I could smell individual smells coming from the exhaust of a nearby restaurant.  I smelled cheesecake, sugar, bacon, and even French Toast!!
What the hell is all that about?! Yeah, so far I am full of energy and I don't even know what to do with myself.  I could climb the air right now and bungee from a cloud.  It's almost as if I took some liquid crack and I'm flying like a kite.  Will there be a crash? I don't know.  I'll post some more later this evening and tell you how the rest of my day went.  If you're juicing along with me or don't know me, good luck to you and just stick with it.  Yeah, first couple of days SUCK!!! But it seems to be getting better...

Juicing! Losing weight, becoming healthy. It sucks!

Well, today is my second day of "juicing".  I bought a Breville juicer and I began juicing yesterday.  The first day was not so bad.  TODAY though, is freaking terrible! It sucks! It bites! It's just horrible!!!
I'm in a bad mood, my neighbor is barbecuing, and everything on TV is a damn commercial for FOOD. Mmmmm, Fooooood...
I made a promise to myself to detox for at least ten days. TEN long ass days.  Ten HUNGRY days. My laptop is looking rather tasty.  I have been trying to keep myself occupied by watching movies.  Mainly horror movies, but guess what. People in horror movies are chowing down as well.
At times it feels completely hopeless and I am about to crash through my neighbor's fence and the shape of my round body will leave a hole it's shape on the fence.  I want to go through it and jump on the grill like a crazed hungry zombie and start tearing away at the fajitas he is grilling. Come to think of it, his dogs are looking tasty right about now.
Alas, I cannot do any of that. I have to have discipline and drink my juice.  So far, my routine has been waking up, and making some fresh home made juice.
Last Friday, after work, my wife, son and I went to Caninos Farmer's Market on Airline Drive in Houston, TX.  We bought Kale, Collard Greens, Green Beans, Radishes, Bananas, Peaches, Apples, Broccoli, and a plethora of other fruits and veggies.
I've been trying to mix it up so I don't get bored of the taste.  So far I've discovered that I hate grapefruit.  I really, really, really HATE grapefruit.  I knew I hated it before, but I did not know I hated it so much until know.  It has got to be the absolute worst fruit on the face of the Earth as far as taste goes.  Cat poo juice would probably taste so much better... maybe.
I am moody and sleepy.  I tried going for a swim a while ago. Still sitting in my wet shorts by the way.  However, there were too many kids in the pool and they were annoying the hell out of me. What is logical you say? To just quit and go get a burger? Yeah, it would be. Very logical indeed. Only if I wanted to go back to my lifestyle and continue to be a lard ass.  Mind you, I have already lost 25 pounds or so in the past year.  I am still overweight by 23 pounds.  Those 23 pounds have got me on the edge of diabetes.  They have me in 1st stage hypertension, and with a cholesterol count that looks like a number for the population of a small city.
So far, my doctor has me on two medications. One for blood pressure and one for cholesterol.  She wants to put me on meds for diabetes as well. I am freaking 37 years old for crying out loud!!!
Do I expect to be on 9 different meds by the time I am 45? I can only imagine. Here's my bp meds, chol meds, heart meds, diabetes meds, rash meds, bed sore meds, and oh yeah, how about throw some penis meds in there too while I'm at it!!!??? NO THANKS!!!
Seriously though, when I was nearly 50 pounds overweight depression set in, and I felt like a nobody.  I didn't know I had high blood pressure until I had a raging headache for an ENTIRE month!!! That's when reality kicked in. I started exercising, and eating better.  After about 8 months of that, I slowly started going back to my old habits.  I didn't gain anymore weight because I was still conscious of my health issues.
About two weeks ago, I visited my doctor again and that is when she said she was going to stick me on even more meds.  Did reality kick in again? Nope. This time it was denial. Complete 100% unrefined DENIAL.  This isn't happening to me... I'm too young.  She can't be right. What a bitch!!!
Then a friend of mine recommended that I watch this documentary.  Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. Look it up in your Netflix if you have it. It's available for instant view right now. That's if Netflix doesn't jack up the prices another 600%... That's a different story though.
Anyway, after watching this documentary and seeing this fat guy lose all this weight, and get off his meds, it gave me hope.  Yeah, go figure. I got my inspiration from TV.  So here I am at 187 pounds. Only 25 pounds lighter than a year ago, and I need to get this flab off me ASAP before I need meds for my willie.  Can you do it? Wanna go at this with me? Let me know. We will give each other support.  Post your comments below and let's get healthy!!


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